Lincoln Messenger

I recently was asked to write an article for the Lincoln Messenger, the local newspaper here. I asked a few creative friends what they would write abut during this time iof the year. I was inspired by my friend Anita and here's what I came up with:

“This is gonna be the worst Christmas ever.” I felt sad, like I just saw a dog get hit by a car. My 6-year-old son uttered those words. It was Christmas time last year and I had “tree issues.” I had found a good shaped tree at the lot at our local hardware giant (names left out to protect the innocent), only to discover later that the trunk of the tree was lopsided. The base was fine, but as you followed the trunk up the tree it took on an angle that would rival a playground slide. The crazy thing was that the tree looked nice, but the center was off. After I finally struggled to get it into the base, it would consistently and randomly fall over. So much so that I had to wedge metal brackets in between the tree and the capped screws that held it in place in its base. But, this tree was no ordinary tree. It was especially designed to take out small animals and even little children. Another problem was that I shot too low on its height. I was looking for a tree that would look nice at the taller end of our cathedral ceilings. But, I was way off. So I thought, “ Hey, I’ll put it on a box.” I thought it might help to show off the presents underneath as well. Now, I was really playing with danger. Not only did the tree fall over unexpectedly, but I have now put it up higher so that the blows to both ornaments and passers-by would be more devastating. Large trees, laden with glass and metal, being dropped on unsuspecting strangers. That was the reason my oldest son would say those words that broke my heart as his father. I wanted it all to be so perfect. What kind of parent puts his kid in harm’s way, at Christmas, even? It must have fallen over 4 or 5 different times on different folks and destroyed untold number of ornaments, both heirloom and nostalgic. Every time it fell (once almost taking out our youngest at 3 years of age), Tanner would say, “This is gonna be the worst Christmas ever.”

It reminded me of one of my favorite Christmas shows as a young boy. I always loved watching, "It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas.” If you can remember when you first saw Charlie Brown go his local tree lot to pick out a special Christmas tree for the school pageant. You probably have never forgotten the scrawny, little, and almost bare, tree that Charlie Brown bought. It could not even hold one ornament without being bent over all the way to the floor. Charlie got a lot of flack for choosing that tree and so did I. I felt a kinship with him.

It probably makes matters worse because I do love this season. The weather, the decorations, the spirit of generosity that is more evident, and the reason behind it all. I really want so much for it to be perfect. I hang the lights up so that they look like perfect icicles hanging from my eaves. We decorate the tree so that the delicate ratio of ornaments, to garland to tinsel is perfect. I want to get the perfect gift for each of my boys and especially my wife. I also want to have the perfect celebration dinner. But, in fact, I have never experienced that perfect Christmas. Every year during this holiday season, there is something that does not quite work out the way it’s supposed to in my mind. I get the wrong gift; break one of the plates of china that my grandmother collected; I cannot find which bulb is out so a portion of the string of lights hangs darkened for the holiday; or a tree falls on someone. Ever year it is a not-so-perfect Christmas.

I want my children to be in awe of the season when we celebrate the greatest gift given to people. And yet, when I reflect on that first Christmas, I see something that eases my mind and heart. You have a young couple in a not-so-perfect courting relationship. They are engaged and she gets pregnant, not by him. They travel far, only to get to their destination and find a “no vacancy” sign lit in the window of every hotel and motel throughout the town. Her water breaks and she ends up having the baby in a horse stable. They do not get a baby shower from their friends and relatives. They do not even have a blanket in which to wrap their newborn baby boy. I guess they had a not-so-perfect Christmas, too.

In wanting to have the perfect Christmas, my center was off. It is not in the perfect we find joy, peace, and love, but actually in the mess, mistakes, and mayhem of life. It is the real that makes life fulfilling, not the perfect. My wife and my kids now repeat my son’s phrase whenever something does not go quite right. It has become a moment of laughter and joy-making in our family. I can imagine when something goes wrong this year, and it will, we will all turn to one another and say, “This is gonna be the worst Christmas ever.” Charlie Brown had one. Mary, Joseph and Jesus experienced one. So, I do not know what your plans and expectations are for this holiday season, but, I wish you a not-so-perfect Christmas. May you be surprised by the joy and laughter revealed in the not so perfect, it is there where we will discover real joy, laughter and peace amidst all that life brings. May God’s blessings overflow in your hearts this holiday season!